Enjoying Marital Harmony (4)

By Mrs Faith Oyedepo - updated: Friday 22-08-2008

Dear Reader,
I will be sharing with you this week what to avoid in oder to enjoy marital harmony - Complaints and Criticisms.

To enjoy marital harmony, it is therefore very important that husband and wife try by all means to avoid complaints and criticisms. Even when you have a genuine reason to do so, complaining is not the right way of making a case. Complaining displeases God. He hates it! My husband says every complaint complicates issues for you.

Those who complain are those who focus on the things that have not been done, choosing to forget the ones that have been done. They are people who look back in self - pity, instead of looking ahead to a bright and colourful future. Complaints and criticisms were what got the natural Israel into a lot of trouble in the wilderness. Their case was genuine — the Red Sea ahead, the host of Egypt behind; but they chose the wrong medium of getting God to intervene. When they got to the brink of the promised land, they again accepted the evil report of the ten spies and murmured again. This time, God did not spare them (Numbers 14:26-39).

Your marriage and home will be more pleasant and peaceful without complaints and criticisms. There’s nothing wrong with corrective criticisms, it helps to balance us up. For instance, if your wife wears a dress that you think does not complement her and she asks, “How do I look?” expecting wonderful comments, and you say, “Well, I think you’ll look better in something else.” That’s a criticism, but one from a positive angle.

A critic is one who points out faults. No one should assume the role of a critic, but we need to be available to point out what is not right about our mates, with a view to rendering help and effecting positive changes. There are many ways to do this without turning into a fault-finder or a perfectionist. God’s Word says: There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health (Proverbs 12:18).

I remember the story of a woman who went to a Counsellor and said, “My husband is very bad; I want to leave him.” The counsellor drew a circle and said, “Put a dot in the circle for every fault your spouse has committed.” The woman started putting dots in the circle for as many offences as she could remember - “He insulted me; he didn’t give me money, …” She rapped on until she could remember no more. The Counsellor then said, “Madam, the undotted space in the circle is still larger than the dotted part. That means your husband is not as bad as you want me to believe.” The woman was advised to go home and put things right with her husband.

So, no matter what might have happened in the past, there must still be some good qualities in your spouse. Focus on those positive points, and the bad ones will soon fade away.You need the grace of God to overcome complaints and criticisms. This comes by surrendering your life to Christ. You surrender by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.

Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:
E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8;